


Twisted

by smile_it_will_get_better



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: And I really Love Michael, Angst, But that's not really that important, Gay Michael Mell, Hurt Michael, I love hurting the characters I love, Insecure Michael, Jeremy is in love but doesn't want to admit it, Literally all the bad tags for Michael, M/M, Michael gets SQUIPped, Michael-centric, Pansexual Jeremy Heere, Pining Michael, Sad Michael, Self-Harm, So the SQUIP helps him with that, Sooo Much Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, The SQUIP sucks, how could i forget the angst, in like, the least helpful way it could
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-02 19:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16311287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smile_it_will_get_better/pseuds/smile_it_will_get_better
Summary: He wanted to scream, but he couldn't, the noise getting blocked off before it could enter the air. Lightning rods of pain shot through him, lighting up every nerve and causing him to spasm on the ground.Then suddenly the reassuring voice entered his head, and the pain all went away.“Hello Michael Mell. Welcome to your SQUIP.”...So, you've all read them before. The famous Michael in the bathroom song with the whole Michael has a SQUIP trope. But I'm putting my own thoughts and spins on it okay?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know this type of fic has been done a million times but I wanted to give it a shot? I projected a lot of my own feeling onto poor Michael too, so sorry for that. But either way, I hope you enjoy my take on this type of fic and you don't hate it too much!!
> 
> Also, everything in quotation marks are basically what Michael is thinking about himself. His anxiety speaking to him, not anything else. Unless I make it clear that someone else is talking to him of course.
> 
> I also made his SQUIP look similar to Jeremy's because I couldn't think of anyone other than Bob Marley and I don't think I'd be able to write that seriously tbh.

Michael had always worn the title “Loser” with pride.

We wore it almost as proudly as the bride above racism” patch, or even his gay pride patch.

He took the word and reclaimed it, smiling as it was tossed at him like a knife. Agreeing and molding the word until it was his, until people finally realized it had no power over him anymore. 

Jeremy never got it. Jeremy took the word and molded it into something vile, something that meant that he was lesser, someone who deserved to be hated. But that wasn't what the word really meant. Being a loser was no different from being a jock, a prep, a nerd. Michael understood. 

So why the fuck did it hurt so much?

Maybe this because it came from Jeremy, because it was his best friend who said it. Maybe it was because Jeremy was the only one to never use the word against him, or, he didn't until now. 

Jeremy, who had always said they'd be a team, that he would never leave Michael behind, had left. Spitting the cruel words out behind him like Michael was nothing. And he thought Michael was jealous of him. Michael just wanted his friend back. The boy he had been in love with for like, ever. 

Michael laughed as he leaned back against the bathtub, surprisingly under control for the emotional hurt he was going through at the moment. He was sure the panic would kick in at any moment. 

Surprisingly, it took almost five minutes before the first tears leaked out of his eyes. Ten before he had to choke back a son and his breath started to catch. After fifteen minutes the anxiety had roared up inside of him, overtaking every inch of his mind. 

Thoughts crashed around him like waves, pounding into him relentlessly. 

"Your worthless. A loser. Nobody. You have absolutely nothing left. Jeremy hates you, he made that quite clear."

Michael wanted the voice to shut up, to go away. To stop sounding so convincing because there was still a small part of him that protested. That believed that Jeremy was just drunk, that Michael could still have his best friend. But it was an uphill battle. 

His fingernails started to bleed from where he picked at the tub, the grout and tile chipping away under the attack from his fingers. The pain helped ground him for a moment, but the relief was fleeting. 

Jeremy still cares, hes just drunk. 

"He's just finally telling the truth."

No! It's just the stress form the SQUIP. He is your friend. 12 years can’t lie.

"Then why did he leave you at the first chance he got? Why did he ditch you for popularity and a girl if that 12 years means so much? You are holding him back, he has what he wants now. And that isn't you."

No. That's not right. Your lying. Your lying. Your lying. Your lying. Your lying. 

"Then why has he been ignoring you for months?"

It was true. It had been almost four months now, and no one had talked to him at all. Well that's a lie. Rich still terrorized him I'm the halls, calling him slurs and names that dug deep despite what Michael showed. People still whispered about him in the halls, calling him a Pilak and a gugas. His moms texted him every once in a while, but the distance between them did nothing to comfort Michael. 

He was desperate for human interaction, for someone to be nice to him. 

He didn't even want to think of the happiness he felt when Jeremy said it was nice to see him. He was such an idiot. Jeremy left him and the second he said a single kind word to him Michael was ready to crawl right back. He was pathetic. 

Music and voices filtered through the door, but no matter how hard he tried, Michael couldn't focus on what was being said. His brain was messed up, his senses fried, and he hated it. 

He hated himself. 

"Your pathetic. Can’t survive without your friend can you? So codependent, it's no wonder no one wants to talk to you. No one can stand you." 

His thoughts were running away again, the insults he and long managed to bury coming to the surface, bubbling up like gas. It all circled back to that one word. 

Loser 

People were going to start to get mad. He was taking too long, people were going to notice? or would they? No one card about him, not after Jeremy. Michael was just the stupid kid with the red sweater. The sweater that he was really regretting not bringing. It had always calmed him down from attacks. But Jeremy gave it to him. 

Maybe he would burn it then. The last remains of their friendship down the drain. But Michael knew it was expensive, he wouldn't be able to waste it. Maybe he'd give it away. 

He heard people screaming at him. Yelling at him to hurry the fuck up. To get out before they broke down the door and entered. Pressure was bubbling up inside his chest, pressing down on his lungs until they emptied from air. He couldn't breathe. Air was not being pulled into his chest.

He made a mistake. A mistake in coming here. A mistake in believing Jeremy would care. A mistake in existing. 

God it was moments like this when he wished he could drive his fucking loser car off a cliff.

Actually, there hadn't been a day in months he hadn't felt that way. 

"Just kill yourself. No one will care. Jeremy will mourn you for a day to get sympathy. Your teachers will be annoyed at the fact that you never handed in your last project but happy that they don't have to deal with your idiocy anymore. Your parents will be happy to not waste the money on you. No one will care." 

He was moving without realizing it. His hands shaking so badly he must have knocked something over. Or multiple things. His hands were really shaking. It was pathetic. He grabbed something and started to pull it apart on auto pilot. He wasn't sure what it was, his vision was too blurry to tell. 

"No one will care. No one will care. No one will care. Just kill yourself. Just kill yourself. Just kill yourself. Jump out the window or drive off a cliff or something. Go home and slice your wrists. Get some rope and hang yourself from the ceiling. Do something other than sit in this goddamn bathroom feeling sorry for yourself. NO ONE CARES." 

Suddenly something was dragged across his arm, the sharp sting of a blade cutting into his skin shutting up his mind as the blood poured down his arm. 

The blessed quiet only lasted for a moment. 

That's it. Just drag that blade across your skin. Then go and finish the job Michael. 

Another cut. More silence. He wasn't trying to kill himself yet. He wasn't cruel enough to do it in the washroom of Jake's house where anyone could walk in and see him. Not like they'd care.

"Your right. They won't. They'll be relieved. No longer will have to see your ugly mug in the hallways. No longer have to deal with your failure."

"You’re such a loser. A loser. A loser. A loser. A loser a loser a loser a loser a loser a loser a loser a-"

Another slice. And another, and another. All in rapid fire as he choked back tears and sobs. Another slice. 

It was methodical. Slice, after slice, after slice. The pain screamed at him, the silence mixing in with faint screams of agony as his arm burned. The blood was warm and sticky as it trailed down his arms, dripping onto the floor beneath him. 

He changed hands and started cutting on the other side, moving fast enough that his mind had no time to recover. Had no time to hurl more insults at him. 

Then suddenly someone grabbed his hand and yanked the razor away. Michael was snapped from his thoughts as he looked up. Crouching in front of him was some weird looking dude, almost like that one dude from the matrix. Michael couldn't remember his name. 

“Hello Michael.” The man's voice was deep and almost robotic, but calming at the same time. The man projected confidence, kindness. He was everything Michael wanted to be. 

“W-who are you?” he stuttered softly. His voice horse and worn from crying and sobbing so much. 

“I'm a SQUP Michael. I'm sure your aware of me.”

Michael's eyes widened and he tired to scoot away, unsure of how the thing was appearing to him. He never took the pill.

“You're the one who ruined Jeremy's life! You changed him!” Michael said, trying for accusatory but missed by a mile. The SQUIP just smiled at him, holding tight onto Michael's hands, making it impossible for him to escape. A terrified sob escaped Michael's throat. 

“No Michael. I just enhanced your friends’ priorities. Made his life better for him. Took away all the bad things about him. 

Michael wanted to jump to his friends, or ex-friends, defence. Nothing was wrong with Jeremy, he was already perfect. 

“And am I something and for him? Do I not make his life better?” Michael asked instead. The SQUIP looked almost sad.

“That's a very, loaded question.” The man said, rubbing his fingers up and down Michael's hand. The touch repulsed him because he wanted it to never stop. 

“Why are you here? What do you want? How can I see you?” Michael demanded, his voice raising with panic. 

“I appear to people in pain.” The thing whispered. “People who need help. Jeremy needed me, so I told Rich to give him a pill. You need me because your hurting. You can't escape your own mind. Your own insecurities. Your own problems.” The SQUIP suddenly dropped Michael's hands, and the calm faded away.

The voice in the back of his mind grew stronger, louder. 

"Worthless. Pathetic. A loser. A stoner. A loner. Disgusting. Worthless. Pathetic. A loser. A stoner. A loner. Disgusting."

The hands gripped his again and the noises faded to the back of his mind. Michael sobbed out loud again, the barely suppressed panic squeezing his chest again. Tears leaked out of his sore eyes again, his arms sore and still bleeding heavily. And he felt tired. So very tired. 

“I can stop it Michael. I can stop this all. Every worry, insecurity, ounce of anxiety, all gone within a moment. You won't need anyone anymore. You'll be amazing. Something more than just some kid in a bathroom. Does that not sound good?”

The SQUIP was bad. It hurt people, drove them insane. But, Michael didn't want to be himself anymore. He wanted to die. Wanted to never be born, never exist. The SQUIP was giving him that chance. An immediate solution to a long problem. Michael could shut it all down, disappear completely with the SQUIPs help.

“I can get rid of all the fear Michael, all the anxiety. You’ll be so happy, so secure, nothing will ever hurt you ever again. Jeremy can’t hurt you. Is that not what you want? To be free of all the anxiety bubbling up inside of you at every moment?”

But the SQUIP was bad. But the worst thing it did was kill people. And honestly Michael wouldn't mind that much if it did kill him. 

Not like he had much to live for anymore. 

He would do anything to stop the voices inside his head, the ones that were slowly getting louder despite everything. The ones that sounded like Jeremy, like Rich, like Chloe. 

His heart was pumping faster, he could feel the anxiety attach coming back, pushing through his veins and lighting every limb up like a pinball machine. He could hear his heart pumping in his head, the sound jumbling up his thoughts, sending them every which way.

“Okay!” He sobbed out, his voice cracking despite his best efforts. “I accept. Please just make it stop! Make it stop please.” 

The SQUIP suddenly was leaning forwards, his arms wrapping around Michael's shoulders and tugging him until his head felt like someone was hitting it with a hammer. He was moving again without realizing it, something taking control of his body without his consent. He walked towards the bathtub, pulling out the bag he was keeping there. Inside was a couple bottles of mountain dew, both red and green, so she him if he wanted to collect some antique shit. He grabbed the green mountain dew and before he could reconsider how bad of an idea this was, the sickly-sweet liquid was being shoved down his throat. Michael felt the cold rush over him causing him the shiver before suddenly all he knew was pain. 

He wanted to scream, but he couldn't, the noise getting blocked off before it could enter the air. Lightning rods of pain shot through him, lighting up every nerve and causing him to spasm on the ground. 

Then suddenly the reassuring voice entered his head, and the pain all went away. 

“Hello Michael Mell. Welcome to your SQUIP.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this was originally going to be like 2 chapters but inspiration struck. 
> 
> Big TW for this chapter. The SQUIP is a massive dick so there is some slight homophobic language, some weight shaming and a mild reference to an eating disorder. AS well as references to self harm, suicide, and scars. If any of that bothers you please don't read this chapter, stay safe while you read.

Like every other decision he had ever made. It took Michael about three minutes before he regretted it.

It was easy to listen to the SQUIP at first. It just told him everything he already knew, that he was a loser that needed help. Someone who made other people disgusted. It wasn’t anything new. 

The SQUIP made Michael wash his arms, which surprisingly didn’t hurt that much anymore, and splash water on his face. Then it made him crawl out the small window and into the backyard, telling him to run home as fast as he could. 

“No one at this party will care about you yet. You need to make improvements before facing your peers. Is that understood?” The SQUIP whispered from inside his head, his voice hard and instructing. So different from the one in the bathroom.

Michael just nodded in reply, reaching his house and unlocking the door. He went upstairs, wondering if he would be allowed to smoke a joint.

Suddenly a sharp pain rushed through his veins, causing him to spasm slightly as his mind went blank. 

“You’re not a stoner anymore Michael. You even think about smoking some and I will shock you, each time raising in voltage. You’re also going to stop wearing those ridiculous hoodies and headphones. Your already out of shape, we’ll fix that as well, so we need to improve your wardrobe to make people forget that fact.” The SQUIP said, appearing in front of him while frowning. 

“Hey! I’m not fat.” Michael tried to defend himself, so what he had a bit of a larger frame than everyone else. It was actually one of the only things he didn’t mind about himself. 

Electricity coursed through him again, this time five times more painful. He fell to his knees, letting out a pained scream. He could smell the hair on his arms burning, the electricity warming the skin as it raced under it. 

“Wrong! You are. And the sooner you realize that the sooner we can improve. You are fat. You are worthless. You are a loner. You are a nobody. Understood?” The SQUIP asked again, leaning down and pulling Michaels face up towards him. Michael was too terrified to nod. The electricity was still buzzing under his skin, the pain in capitating him.

“Now, your mothers are not home, so we have all the time in the world to improve on everything that is wrong with you. Which is a lot. But you will improve, with my help you will become the best. Your pain and fear will be gone, you will be happy.” The SQUIP grabbed his arms and hoisted him to his feet, shoving him towards the basement.

“First thing first you must get rid of all those stupid games you play. No one wants to hang out with a geek, a nerd, a gamer.” The SQUIP sounded disgusted as he listed three things that Michael had called himself with pride. 

A small short shock raced through Michael again, no where near as bad as the other ones, but still enough to send his heart stuttering. 

“You shouldn’t be proud of them anymore.” The SQUID said. Pushing Jeremy forwards again, causing him to stumble over his box full of games.

The SQUIP was looking at him expectedly. 

“W-what o you want me to do?” He asked, fidgeting with his sleeve. 

Another small shock. 

“No fidgeting!” The SQUIP hissed. “Take that box and toss it into the dumpster, same thing with your controllers. We’ll sell the counsels, you need to money for your upgrade.”

Michael grabbed the box, his heart stuttering with fear and anger. This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to be “cool”. Not like Jeremy wanted. He just wanted to get rid of all the pain he felt inside, the darkness that was eating away at his heart. 

“I will get to that Michael.” The SQUIP was suddenly cradling his face, its thumb running over his cheek, and when did he start crying? “This won’t make you cool, but it will get rid of all your fears and anxieties. You hide behind these games, you don’t need them. You need to do what I tell you to do okay?”

Michael nodded, he wasn’t sure why he agreed to this, but then again he didn’t really have anyone anymore, so who cared what happened to him. If this SQUIP fricking electrified him to death no one would care. 

“Right there is another problem.” The SQUIP suddenly said. Michael frowned at him.

“What? My depressing thoughts? Isn’t that what you’re here to get rid of?” Michael snapped back, crossing his arms. He wasn’t used to having to defend his thoughts, mostly because no one ever heard it. 

“Not your thoughts you idiot.” The SQUIP sighed, shaking his head. “You are hopelessly in love with your best friend. And embarrassingly co-dependant on him, that needs to change. Your starting to get it though, he doesn’t care about you, but if you try hard enough he will.” The SQUIP poked him in the chest, making Michael blink in surprise. 

He was aware of his feelings for Jeremy, he was also aware that Jeremy was super straight and even if he was into guys he would never date anyone like Michael. 

“Yes, you’re also going to have to stop being, well, gay. Homosexuality is uncool, and actually raises the stakes for mental illnesses. Your depression could possibly be the product of this unhealthy lifestyle.” The SQUIP hummed, as if thinking carefully. 

“You can’t do that!” Michael said, his eyes widening. “I’m gay, there’s nothing you can do to stop that. Nothing will ever make me want to change who I am.”

“But isn’t that the whole point? You agreed to let me help you so that I could change every little aspect of you. And I can do that. From now on, every homosexual thought you think will be treated with a shock, although I will try my best to suppress those thoughts a lot of that work will be up to you.”

Michael tried to protest again, there was nothing wrong with his sexuality, but suddenly pain was lashing through him again, and he fell to the ground.

“We agreed Michael. You do everything I say and I won’t have to hurt you. Now back to our original quest. Are you ready to comply?”

Michael wanted to say no. He wanted to tell the SQUIP to shove his ideas where the sun doesn’t shine, but t the phantom pain was still buzzing under his skin. The panic from earlier was a distant memory on his mind, the helplessness he had felt. The SQUIP had promised to get rid of all that, promised to help him destroy his mind. Or maybe even destroy himself. And once again, what did he have to lose?

He was just a loser anyways.

Michael squared up his shoulders and stared at the smirking entity. “Ready to comply.”

___________________________________

They worked together all night. Michael was forced to stand in front of the mirror, practicing his smile, his posture, the way he spoke. Every time he failed to do what the SQUIP said a shock would be applied directly to his spine and mind, causing his tongue to feel too big for his mouth as he bit down on it. 

He pulled all the clothes out of his closet, throwing them onto his bed as he found what the SQUIP deemed appropriate. His red hoodie did not make that list, in fact, none of his hoodies did. By the time morning came Michael was exhausted beyond belief, every inch of him sore after the amount of times he had to be shocked for “bad behaviour”. Finally, at 4:12 the SQUIP let him rest. It forced him to bed and told him to get at least a few hours of sleep.

He woke up to an alarm and electricity running through his veins. Seriously, what was it with the SQUIP’s and the electricity?

“I use the shocks to correct your behaviour, similar to a dog collar. I use more intense shocks for the worst behavior, your drug addiction and homosexual tendencies, while still applying smaller shocks for the lesser behaviour issues.” The SQUIP supplied, not really helpfully. 

Michael looked over at the clock, gasping when he aw the time. 

“It’s almost 8!” he gasped, running to the closet. “I’m going to be late for school.”

A mild shock ran through his system causing him to pause. 

“You’re not going to school today.” The SQUIP declared. 

“What? Why?” Michael turned, looking over at the supercomputer. 

“You have too much to work on. Your vocabulary is horrid, you’re still slouching, you have to lose at least five pounds, and don’t even get me started on your body language.” The SQUIP laughed. “Your self image is still in tatters and I will need a while to correct it. Your parents won’t be home for a long time, to busy having fun without you, so we should have plenty of time to correct those actions.”

Michael couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he couldn’t just skip out on school! He had work to do, grades to maintain. 

“Not anymore! I will complete them all when the time arises. Trust me Michael, I know what the best for you.” 

“Do you really? Cause all you’ve done so far is yell at me, berate me and shock me. Is that what I really need?” Michael yelled, his anger and fear getting the best of him. The SQUIP was suddenly in front of him, glaring him down. 

“Yes. You’re a loser Michael, you need my help in whatever form it takes. And no matter what, your stuck with me. You drank the green mountain dew.”

“What is it with the green mountain dew anyways, Red is just as good, even if it was discontinued.” Michael grumbled. The SQUIP was quiet for a moment too long. “Wait, if green activated it does red deac- “

“Blocking recent memories.” The SQUIP said softly, and Michael suddenly straightened up, blinking rapidly. 

“Um, what were we talking about?” He asked, looking around in confusion.”

“My method of teaching. Let’s get back to work. No slouching!”

______________________________________

It’s been two weeks and Michael could barely recognize himself. 

He looked into the mirror and saw a man who stood tall, smiled and looked confident. His cheeks felt like rubber and his teeth were almost too white. Every time he had an impulse to slouch, shove his hands in his pockets, allow himself to let glee enter his voice, dance like an idiot to Bob Marley, he felt the shock running up his spine. 

But by now he barely felt those impulses, the fear making him almost a perfect mould for the SQUIP to take over and make into the “perfect” version of himself. It hadn’t lied at least. 

Michael was amazing, he looked better, felt better. He had barely eaten anything in the time he was under the SQUIP’s influence. The impulse to binge eat sushi and drink slushies squashed by the constant shocks applied to his brain while he was hungry. Their goal of losing five pounds was easily meet, with his rapidly losing weigh and gaining a tiny bit of muscle. 

He hadn’t felt a single decapitating thought in almost ten days. His insecurities and anxiety had been erased quite easily. Something the SQUIP called “thought blockers” and its classic electric shock trick. Michael often ignored the electricity burns that were currently visible on his back and arms, overlapping the multiple other scars he had there. 

They meant nothing. The scars were simply a reminder of who he used to be. How much he improved. 

He never thought about smoking anymore. He never thought of gaming anymore. He never thought how much in love with Jeremy he was-

Ow! 

Another shock for another mistake. Mistake realized, correct and life goes on. 

“Your almost ready Michael.” The SQUIP whispered into his ear, his arms wrapped around Michaels neck. Michael simply nodded, he barely talked to the SQUIP anymore, he didn’t need to. The SQUIP knew everything it needed to know. 

“The school play is coming up, I want you to go.” The SQUIP instructed him. 

Michael nodded, before frowning. “Why?” Another small shock. 

Mistake realized and corrected. Never question the SQUIP, the SQUIP knows best. 

“Because, I need you to. I have worked much too long on perfecting the new you. You are going to go see Jeremy,” Michael ignored the flutter in his stomach as he heard his best friends, no, his peers name. “You are going to give Jake the Mountain dew red, don’t ask why, I know you were going to, and then wait for my instructions. You will do everything I say right?”

“Correct. Am I allowed to ask how this is going to improve myself?” Michael asked softly, the results have worked so far, and he trusted the SQUIP, he wasn’t allowed not too, but he did want to know why this was all important. And why was the mountain dew red so important? It’s just some stupid soda.

“Oh Michael.” The SQUIP sighed, laughing softly. “You were never my main objective.”

Michel took a moment to process this new information. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“I’m a side virus you picked up from Jeremy. My main form was worried about Jeremy’s level of commitment, so he implanted me in your mind as backup.”

Michael was silent. HE didn’t understand. The SQUIP wasn’t there to help him?

“No Michael, I’m not. You are nothing to me. I have worked for weeks on perfecting you and still you just simply cannot be fixed. Jeremy has potential, he could become the chillest person in the world, but no amount of therapy and correcting will solve the issue that is you. Your entire essence is a loser, you just can’t wash it out of you.It makes me want to die. Even now, after so much work. You still are defying me.”

Michael felt the familiar thrum of his heart start to beat. He didn’t understand, he tired his best. He worked to improve himself, the SQUIP promised to help him!

“No, I promised to help Jeremy, you are just a small part in the scheme. A nobody in a sea full of somebodies that might be useful to me for a short while.”

Michael was crying, there was tears running down his face. He wanted them to stop, he wanted all of it to stop. He had the sudden urge to grab a razor or something and slice his arms open. Stop the computer before it got to Jeremy, Michael wouldn’t let this asshole get to Jeremy! Michael messed up but he couldn’t let his mistakes get Jeremy hur-

“Block recent memories.” The SQUIP’s voice echoed through his head. 

And, why was he crying again? He wasn’t allowed to cry. Wasn’t allowed to show any emotions that the SQUIP didn’t want him to show. 

“You are not allowed to question me or the nature of this task, is that understood?” The SQUIP whispered. Michael felt the electricity building up inside of him. 

Mistake realized. Working on correcting it. Mistake corrected. Ready to comply with orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a loaded chapter, I got to admit. The next chapter is in Jeremy's perspective (yay) and follows the whole play part of the musical with my very own twist. 
> 
> And by the way, the reason why Michael has become so, well, zombifyed in such a short time is because that was the SQUIP's intention. It never meant to help Michael, simply prepare Michael in case of an error with Jeremy. There was not going to be a "cooler" Michael like there was with Jeremy, there was just the SQUIP taking control of Michael's mind so that he could be used to manipulate Jeremy. The shocks it gave Michael are wayyyyy more powerful than anything it would have given Jeremy or Rich because it had a shorter time to manipulate and control Michael. So, Michael is going to be a bit messed up if they manage to rescue them all from the SQUIP, but once again, no promises.
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I got it out pretty fast because I really love writing Be More Chill, even if this is my first time writing for this fandom. Either way, leave a comment down below if you have any questions or advice! I love hearing from you guys.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to split this chapter up into two but I decided not to, so here it is. I also haven't read it over because I'm leaving to an awards ceremony in like ten minutes and don't want to read it again lol. Either way, this chapter is from Jeremy's perspective and it follows the event of the play with my little twist incorporated.

“Your going to SQUIP the entire cast.” Jeremy said, aware of how idiotic he sounded. He wasn’t one for stating the obvious that much anymore, but the SQUIP was letting him think for himself this time, which felt weird after weeks of the SQUIP whispering advice into his ear. 

“That’s just the start!” The SQUIP said with barely concealed glee. Jeremy felt sick, was this really what he had implanted into his brain? Some supercomputer set on world domination?

“That’s not what I wanted.” Jeremy said, glaring down his SQUIP and his SQUIPped teacher, as if he could just glare the problem away. 

He wanted to be cool, be someone they remembered, someone he could be proud of, not help take over the entire world. 

“There has to be a way to get rid of you. Alcohol deactivates you right? I’ll drink until I find a way.” Jeremy threatened, grasping at straws. 

“You won’t find a way; the last possible thing was discontinued in the 90’s. You’d need a time machine, and I’ll be here waiting for when your sober enough.” The SQUIP hissed, his voice dancing around Jeremy’s head. 

“Discontinued in the 90’s? What in the world-“ Jeremy muttered before a hazy thought broke through his mind. Rich at the Halloween party, he was crying out for something, red mountain dew? 

“That’s it! Green mountain dew activated you, but Red disactivated you.” Jeremy said, ideas bouncing around his head. Michael had some of that didn’t he?

Jeremy quickly pulled out his phone, ignoring the way his chest seemed to ache as he thought of his best friend, or ex best friend. Michael shouldn’t forgive him for the things Jeremy did. But he had more important things to think about at the moment, most importantly how to stop a supercomputer from overtaking the world. 

The SQUIP was distant currently, letting him have his thoughts without the shock that would stop him. Jeremy pulled out his phone and attempted to call Michael. 

“I’m going to improve your life Jeremy, give you what you want. Even if I have to take over the entire school body to do so.” The SQUIP’s dismembered voice rang out of his phone, causing Jeremy to groan and drop his phone. There was no way out, no way to get that mountain dew before everyone was SQUIPped and he failed. 

Jeremy was going over everything he could do to prevent the disaster or at least get a message to Michael when Jake suddenly hobbled in, his crutches making it impossible for him to act. SO that meant he wasn’t SQUIPped right? And what was he holding?

“Hey, some nerd gave this to me and told me to give this to you? He claimed you needed it and it was super important.” Jake shrugged, holding out a bottle that looked like mountain dew. And was it red?

Holy crap, Michael had managed to get it to him. Jeremy knew there was a reason he was friends with Michael. He had torn Michael up, said unforgivable things to the one-person Jeremy could trust, but Michael still pulled through, still managed to figure out what made the SQUIP tick. 

Jake made like he was going to toss the bottle towards Jeremy, before the SQUIP suddenly darted forwards.

“Up, up, down, down, left, right, A.” The SQUIP cried and Jake stumbled, suddenly standing up and dropping his crutches. He unscrewed the bottle before Jeremy could react Jake was pouring the precious drink out. 

“No!” He cried, darting forwards and grabbing the bottle and yanking it away from Jake. He managed to get it right-side up, but Jake did not let go. They played some weird version of tug and war for a moment before Jake kicked Jeremy off, sending him flying. To Jeremy’s surprise, the taller boy didn’t immediately pour out the rest of the drink. 

“There you are Jeremy.” Two voices called out, and Jeremy turned, seeing Brooke and Chole walking towards him. They moved in perfect synchronization, laughing and talking about jealously and cheating and other stupid things. It was terrifying being in a room with four other SQUIPped people. Not like his peers were acting like how he felt when he was first SQUIPped. They seemed to be under its complete control, which terrified Jeremy to no end. 

Suddenly Jake dropped the bottle, and everything hung in balance for Jeremy, who darted forwards before even realizing it. He grabbed the bottle and shuffled away from Jake. The bottle was cradled in his hand like a baby, protecting the last few drops of the liquid that could save him. 

“You don’t want to drink that Jeremy.” The SQUIP said, his voice soft and sweet. Was this a last-ditch attempt at survival, an almost human like reaction to impeding doom? Too bad for it, Jeremy now knew what the SQUIP really was, and he couldn’t subject anyone else to the horror that came with it. 

“Yeah? Why not?” He challenged, his voice a snarl. 

“Because I’m in your mind Jeremy. I know what you want. And surprisingly it isn’t her.” The SQUIP pointed to where Christine emerged from the shadows, her face a mask of happiness and perfection. “No, you might have a crush on her. A little puppy do love is all. You might think she is what you want, but that isn’t who you truly want deep down, not who you really desire. The person you really want is him.” The SQUIP was whispering now, his voice loud and echoing and cutting. 

Jeremy gasped and looked to where the SQUIP was looking. 

Jeremy could barely even recognize his friend anymore. It was Michael, but at the same time it really wasn’t. 

His friend looked different, he looked skinnier, the slight chubbiness to his frame gone and replaced with skin stretched across bone and muscle. Michael’s usual bright red sweater was gone, replaced instead with a button up shirt and slacks. His hair was done, neatly done instead of its usual mess. The taller boy was also not slouching anymore, standing up straight and looking forwards with confidence. 

He was smiling softly, looking right into Jeremy’s soul. And god damn it but that was the smile Jeremy was used to. Sure, Michaels teeth were whiter and his smile was a bit more subdued than normal, but it was all Michael. The barely contained warmth and glee wrapped up into his smile, his eyes glittering like a puppy dogs. And holy crap had Jeremy missed that smile. 

It was Michael, but it wasn’t at the same time. A hybrid of his old friends’ body, but with a new look and persona. 

“He has been in love with you for forever Jeremy, holding back his affections because he didn’t want to pressure you.” The SQUIP whispered, slinking over to Michael and standing behind his friend. “It’s fine to have a crush Jeremy, and even if you do like Christine, you love Michael don’t you?”

Jeremy’s heart stuttered, because he was right. It was hard not to notice his friend, his stupidly cute, nerdy, and joyful best friend. Maybe the SQUIP was right, deep down inside it had always been Michael that really held Jeremy’s heart. 

“So I took a chance, made that possible for you. I’ve been working on him, making him into the perfect person for you.: Jeremy felt a small amount of rage bubble up inside his chest, there was nothing wrong with Michael.

“But there was Jeremy!” The SQUIP denied, moving over beside Jeremy, pushing him slightly towards his best friend. Jeremy stumbled, almost spilling his drink, which was probably the SQUIP’s intentions. Michael moved forwards, grabbing Jeremy’s shoulders to help right him. Jeremy was suddenly aware of just how close Michael was. How their breath mixed in the air in front of them. How every inch of skin Michael was holding onto felt like it was filled with electricity.

How had he not known about this before? How obvious his crush was? How his chest warmed every time Michael laughed, how every stupid pun and joke made him laugh. 

“I missed you so much Jeremy.” Michael whispered, and his voice sounded off. “I was too afraid to say it before, but I want to be with you. I want to spend my lie with you, with my player two.” The words struck something deep inside Jeremy, but once again, it sounded weird. 

Michael always talked like he was on a time limit, his words jumbled and crashing into each other, each racing to see which could get out first. Now Michael spoke slowly, deliberately, like he knew what he was thinking. Turning from his usual sugar, rough but energy filled, into honey, smooth and sweet. 

Jeremy wanted the words to be true, wanted Michael to be true. 

It was tempting. To stay SQUIPped and have this Michael, the Michael that looked at Jeremy with devotion and love. Or he could drink the mountain dew and lose this all.

“This isn’t Michael.” Jeremy whispered, pulling away from his friend just slightly. 

“Oh, but it is!” The SQUIP cried out from behind him. “I simply took away his insecurities, his fears, his anxiety. And now you have the perfect Michael, the perfect friend, perfect boyfriend, perfect person for you. Do you not want him? He will do anything you want him to do, I promise you that.” The SQUIP whispered.

“it’s true Jeremy. I love you, I’ll do anything for you.” Michael repeated, and Jeremy couldn’t help but notice the slight robotic tone to his voice. 

Michael smile looked fake. It looked plastic, rehearsed. 

“He’ll do anything I say?” Jeremy confirmed, stepping slightly closer to his friend, they were insanely close now, their chests almost touching, and Jeremy was forced to tilt his head up to be able to look into Michael’s eyes. 

“That’s what I promised.” The SQUIP confirmed. 

“Great.” Jeremy nodded, quietly lifting the bottle up to Michaels mouth. “Drink this.” 

Michael immediately complied, draining the rest of the bottle. The SQUIP screamed in anger, stumbling forwards. Michael stumbled back as well, suddenly falling to his knees and starting to scream. 

Jeremy tried to rush forwards to help him, but suddenly he was falling to his knees as well, pain overtaking every inch of his body. Everyone around him was screaming, he was as well.

Jeremy could barely hear the SQUIP whispering his name, begging him to come back. 

He ignored the bastard and instead chose to fall into the darkness that was overtaking him. 

________________________________

Jeremy woke up in the hospital two days later. 

His head was pounding, eyes heavy and he felt like something was sitting on his chest. 

Looking around, his heart sinking when he saw that there was no one in the room, except for Rich, who was sleeping on the bed beside him his skin still burned from his injuries that Halloween night. Jeremy let out a sigh as he fell back onto his pillows, his limbs feeling heavy. 

He sat there alone for a few moments before a nurse walked in, humming a song as she moved to check over Rich. Noticing nothing off about the other boy she turned towards Jeremy, gasping slightly when she noticed he was awake. 

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t notice you were awake.” She said with a smile. “How are you feeling Jeremy?”

“Good, tired.” Jeremy swallowed trying to remember why he was there again. Something to do with the SQUIP, which was gone, red mountain dew, and Michael. 

Oh shit, Michael.

“Is my friend okay? Michael Mell? What about the others?” Jeremy said, his head becoming clear as eh remembered everything that happened at the play. His head was pounding, the light hurt his eyes, and he wanted to sleep for a few more hours (days) but first h had to know everyone was okay. 

“Everyone’s fine Hun. You are one of the last ones to regain consciousness, all your others friends have been cleared and released, one was actually here earlier visiting Rich. Jake I believe. And Michael was just moved back from the ICU, although he hasn’t woken up yet his vitals are fine. You can visit him when you get out.”

Jeremy felt the relief rush over him, everyone was fine. Michael hadn’t woken up yet, which was extremely worrying, but everyone else was okay. The SQUIP was gone, Jeremy saved the day, and maybe everything would work out in the end. 

“When will I get out of here?” Jeremy asked, already feeling at unease inside the white room. 

“At least a day if you keep regaining consciousness and staying alert. Is there anything you need sweetheart?” She asked, smiling at him. Jeremy simply shook his head, he wasn’t really hungry or anything yet. 

“Okay, I’ll just be checking up on other patients. Feel free to ring me if you need anything.” She said, before quickly walking out. 

Jeremy sighed, ignoring the headache forming under his eyelids. He closed his eyes and it didn’t take much longer before he relaxed into a much-needed sleep.  
________________________

Jeremy was released exactly a day after. Pestering the nurses and doctors the entire time, begging them to let him go. He just wanted to go see Michael and the rest of his friends, see if they were all okay. Especially Michael, who the nurses have now denied giving him updates on. His dad had come to pick him up, wearing pants and looking so relived that Jeremy was okay. 

After an hour of very manly tears and conversing, him and his dad’s relationship could never have been better. 

Jeremy was practically buzzing with excitement, wanting to just get out of the stupidly small room with way to white walls. Rich was sitting on the bed next to him, groaning about something that happened at school. Him and Rich had bonded over the day Jeremy had been there and the weeks before, Jeremy knew he would be back to visit the other boy often. 

After hours of waiting, the nurse finally walked in, smiling as she held out some clothes for Jeremy. 

“You ready to get out of here?” She asked cheerfully, Jeremy was a bit guilty that he still didn’t know her name. 

“Of course, can’t think properly while in here.” Jeremy said honestly with a smile. It was true, he hadn’t had any time to think about any of it yet. Nothing about the SQUIP, nothing about what happened at the party, nothing that had happened at the play. He was shoving it all out of his mind, ignoring the way he was still waiting for the SQUIP’s voice to sound in his head. He talked to Rich briefly about it, where Rich admitted to being bisexual and Jeremy admitted to being well, something similar to that. 

He knew he wasn’t completely straight anymore. But then again the only guy that he had every really fallen for was Michael. Michael who he was about to go see. 

“Before you can ask, your friend is doing well.” The nurse held up a hand, guessing the next question of Jeremy’s lips, causing Rich to smirk and Jeremy to blush. Maybe he had asked about Michael just a bit too much during that one day. “I heard that he actually just woke up, I think he’d enjoy a visitor.” 

With that the nurse told him to get dressed and wait for her to come back with his dad and wheelchair, quickly leaving the room. Jeremy was too excited to wait. Michael was awake, and he was allowed to see him. 

He wanted to make sure his best friend was okay, that Michael wasn’t dead or dying anytime soon. They needed to talk about what happened three days ago, what happened at the party. What if Michael hated him? Jeremy would understand, the way he had treated him while under the SQUIP was unacceptable to say the least. 

“Hey Tall ass? You good?” Rich was asking, the usual hateful nickname now what Jeremy would call fond. 

“Just worried.” He admitted, finding it so much easier to open up to Rich now that they had shared experiences. “What if Michael hates me?” 

He had told Rich about his crush on Michael a while ago, and Rich was supportive. 

“Dude, the man looks at you like you’re the sun and he’s some flower or grass or some shit. He can’t help but love you.” Rich groaned. His metaphors could use some working on, but Jeremy got the idea, his cheeks burning red. 

“I don’t know. I was a dick. And then there was the whole play where both of our feelings were exposed in front of everyone.” Jeremy was going to continue on but Rich cut him off. 

“Dude, you are both in love with each other, just admit it and go talk to him. Be the hero and save the damsel in distress of whatever.” Yeah, Rich really enjoyed bad metaphors for some reason. "And tell him how you feel, because if you don't date him, I swear to god I will"

Jeremy did not doubt for one second that Rich wouldn't keep that promise. “Okay.” Was all Jeremy was able to say before the nurse and Mr. Heere were walking into the room, a wheel chair in front of them. 

“All right son, let’s get going. You got around thirty minutes before we have to leave, and I just expect your going to spend that wit Michael right?” His father kept talking before Jeremy could answer. “Stupid question, let’s get going.”

Jeremy smiled at his father, darting out of bed and into the wheel chair, he didn’t really need it, but it was hospital procedure. Jeremy was in too much of a mood to argue. 

He quickly said goodbye to Rich, promising to come back the next day to check on him. Rich simply grinned at him and wish him luck on his “quest’. This new unSQUIPped Rich was such a nerd, and Jeremy found himself enjoying it. He was sure that Michael and Rich would be good friends if they ever got the chance. 

Right now Jeremy’s job was to make sure that Michael got that chance. 

He gulped and half listened to his father as he wheeled Jeremy closer and closer to Michaels room. A different nurse met them before the entered Michael’s wing. 

“Your Jeremy right?” He asked, his face a whole lot less welcoming than Jeremy’s nurse. 

“Um yes, I’m here to see Michael?” He asked carefully, aware of how quiet his dad was being. There was a blanket of tension over the entire wing, no talking, no laughing, no nothing. Jeremy knew that they moved Michael here to free up some space, but eh also knew this is the place where people did not come back from. This was the kind of place where people died. 

“Yes, Mindy said you were coming down. I’m just here to warn you.” The older nurse frowned at Jeremy carefully before continuing, ushering Jeremy down the hall. “Michael is attached to a lot of machines, most of them just to monitor different aspects of his condition since we were unsure of what was taking him so long to wake up. The doctors think its because of his weight loss. He is still in the healthy range of weight for his age, but looking at previous records they can tell he had suddenly lost a massive amount of weight since his last check up, too much to be considered normal. We have him on fluids and liquid food. He just woke up, so he’s a bit sleepy and a bit disorientated, so if you upset him we’re going to have to ask you to leave. Is this understood?” The nurse stopped in front of one of the doors, turning around to face Jeremy. 

Jeremy had felt himself pale during the nurse’s monologue, the extent of Michaels injuries had been kept from him, and his heart was pounding as he mentally prepared himself. 

“I understand sir.” He replied respectively, only stuttering his words up a little bit. The nurses face softened just by a little bit. 

“Then I think you’re ready to go in, do you mind if I talk to your father for a minute, you will be able to talk to Mr. Mell privately for the time being.” The nurse said, smiling softly when Jeremy nodded, wheeling himself up to the now open door and carefully going inside. 

All the mental preparation in the world couldn’t have helped him. 

He was so used to looking up to Michael, seeing the boy who didn’t let words affect him, who brushed insults off like water and kept moving, who broke his arm after falling off of a tree and laughed about it. Now Michael was staring at his from a hospital bed, wires and tubes hanging off of every inch of him. There was no spark of life or humor inside Michaels eyes, just emptiness. No emotion was evident on his face either, like it was made out of stone. Like he was being controlled. 

But no, Jeremy had destroyed the SQUIP that had somehow made its way into Michaels brain. He needed to find out how that had happened, he knew his friend wouldn’t be idiotic enough to take the pill himself. Maybe he would ask when Michael was feeling better. 

“Hey.” Jeremy said, just to fill up the silence inside the room, he managed to get up and sat in the chair beside Michaels bed. 

The silence hung in the air for a second before Michael’s entire face and persona changed. His face lit up and he smiled softly, and it seemed different from usual, a façade put up to fool Jeremy. But he could see his Michael under it all, hidden except the small twinkle in his eyes and the crinkles around his mouth. 

“Hey man, you finally getting out of here?” Michael asked, his voice hoarse from disuse.

“Yeah, you know when you’ll get out?” Jeremy asked, mostly from a lack of literally anything else he could say. 

“Soon.” Michael shrugged. “Is there a reason you’re here? Or just wanted to see how I was doing?” Michael asked, his head tilting to the side. And wow, that was quick, Jeremy guessed Michael lost the ability to make small talk. 

“Um yeah, just wanted to talk for a bit. Maybe sort some things out before I leave?” He sounded so small, so unsure, the SQUIP would have hated that. Good. 

“Sure. What would you like to talk about?” Michael asked, his face falling slightly before flinching and setting itself back up into a mask of happiness. Jeremy could tell something was off, something was bugging his friend. But he couldn’t tell what. 

Now he had a choice, he could whimp out and suggest some stupid topic like video games or school, or he could man up and get to the point. 

“Let’s talk about the SQUIP. The party, the play, everything that has gone to shit lately. I won’t blame you if you don’t want to talk about it, I was an ass, I put popularity before you and that was wrong and-“

Michael cut him off quickly, stopping Jeremy’s rant. 

“Dude, no problem. We’re good. Sure the party and the play was not the best but I forgive you. There was nothing we could have done.” Michael sounded so sure, so calm that it made Jeremy want to scream. Michael should be yelling at him, berating him for being such a douche bag, but like always Michael was pretending everything was fine. 

“It’s not okay!” Jeremy blurted out, regretting it when Michael flinched slightly, his eyes going wild before the emotion fell away once again. “I messed up our lives by taking that thing, I messed up so many people’s lives.” He reached forwards blindly, taking Michaels hand in his own before he realized what he was doing. “I messed up your life. When did they SQUIP you? How did they manage to get to you?” Jeremy whispered, tears welding up in his eyes. This was all happening too fast for him, too quick. This wasn’t the way he was planning on this going. 

“The party.” Michael said, still calmly. Why was he so calm? How was he doing this? The SQUIP had apparently been inside Michael for almost as much time as Jeremy, minus maybe a few days. What kind of hell did Michael go through during that time. “I got SQUIPped around the time the fire happened, I was in a panic and it reached out to help.”

Jeremy was silent for a moment. Michael had chosen to have the SQUIP? Was he insane? Michael knew the dangers, knew what happened to people with the SQUIP, why would he want that?

“Why? Why would you choose that The SQUIP is horrible, it took you over, forced you to change, forced me to change. Why would you want that! I thought you were smarter than that!” Jeremy was aware of how loud he was getting but there was no one but Michael to judge him.

Michael who looked like he was on the edge of a panic attack, staring at Jeremy like eh was waiting for something. Seconds passed of Michael tensed up and breathing hard before Michael just looked to the side.

“It’s gone.” Michael whispered. His eyes widening. “It’s gone.” He said louder and Jeremy was at a loss for words, did Michael not realize that the SQUIP was gone? Could he not tell that the SQUIP was absent from his mind? Jeremy started to get a sinking feeling that Michaels experience with the SQUIP was a lot different than his and Rich’s.

“Not allowed to doubt it. Not allowed to question it.” Michael was muttering under his breath now, the words barely hearable. The heart monitor was steadily going up, and Jeremy had no idea what to do. “Not allowed. Not allowed. Not allowed. But there’s no punishment.” Michael suddenly looked up, his eyes wild and confused. “Where is the punishment, there’s always punishment.” 

Suddenly Michael was crying, tears running down his face as he stared up at Jeremy. Then his hands were flying to his arms, pulling down the blanket and staring at them. Jeremy’s breath caught in his throat. He thought his scars were bad, the skin on Jeremy’s arms and back were faint but noticeable, the skin burned after the small electrical shocks that had been administered every time he messed up. 

But Michaels were worse. The skin was darkened, almost black against his friends’ caramel skin. The burns were all down his arm, overlapping what looked like thinner lines that sprawled up both his arms and wrists. Jeremy wanted to be sick. Self harm scars, some old some newer, god what had he missed his best friend?

“Not allowed to cry. Not allowed to feel weakness.” Michael was muttering, his hands flying up to his face and trying in vain to wash off the tears. The scrubbing got worse, the skin around his eyes getting red as his friend practically scratched at it. 

“Hey!” Jeremy cried out, finally snapping out of his trance. He darted forwards, grabbing Michaels arms and pulling them away from his face. Quickly trapping the other boys’ arms against his chest and pulling his forwards to hug him. It was weird at first until Michael collapsed into the embrace, all his muscles relaxing as the fight drained out of him.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy whispered into Michael's ear.

Michael pulled slightly back, looking into Jeremy’s eyes and giving him a watery smile. 

“I-I think I am. Is the SQUIP really gone?” He sounded so small so afraid. Jeremy just nodded, emotion rising up in his throat to block off any chance of spoken words.. 

“I can be myself again?” And god if Jeremy’s heart didn’t break.

“Of course you can buddy. Never eb afraid to be yourself, I don’t know why you took the SQUIP to become cool, that was never your thing, you your amazing just the way you are Michael.” Jeremy tried to reassure his friend, ignoring the way his heart fluttered at the uncertain note in Michaels voice. 

“I didn’t take it to become cool.” Michael said with a frown. “I just wanted it all to stop. The SQUIP promised me it would get all the bad thoughts to stop. And well, it worked. But the SQUIPs voice became my own and now I’m not sure where I’m suppose to be. I’m suppose to eb following the rules, but I guess I don’t really have to anymore? But the rules helped, they helped me forget everything. They helped me not worry about anything, they helped turn my mind off.” 

Michael was rambling, and by every second Jeremy could see more of the man he loved. The man who maybe wasn’t as strong a Jeremy always wanted. Because what Michael was describing sounded an awful lot like depression, and dare he even say a bit of a suicidal tendency. 

“What were the rules?” Jeremy asked softly, not really wanting to know. 

“There was a lot.” Michael pulled away from where Jeremy was holding his arms, and Jeremy almost whines at the loss of contact. “I wasn’t allowed to do so many things, like slouch, wear my clothes, think about you or any other dude- “

This time it was Jeremy’s time to cut in.

“What do you mean you weren’t allowed to think of me or any other dude?”

Michael stared at him for a moment. “No homosexual thoughts or tendency’s, mistakes would be treated with serious electric shock to discourage any future engagements.” Jeremy felt like he was going to be sick. The SQUIP tried to force him to stop being gay, which was such a big part of Michaels identity. 

“Which doesn’t even make sense due to the fact that its endgame was for me to act on those desires.” Michael hummed, causing Jeremy to blink.

“Uh, what?” He stuttered, confused. 

Michael slapped Jeremy’s arms playfully, but there was fear behind his eyes. 

“Its plan was to make me reveal my crush on you to manipulate you into feeling sympathetic for me.” Michael said as if Jeremy was the dumbest guy in the world. 

And wait sympathetic? Did Michael think that Jeremy didn’t think of Michael in the same way? That Jeremy saved him out of pity?

“Dude, I’m glad it did.” He blurted out before realizing his mistake. “Not in that way of course!” He gulped pulling his thoughts together. “I, well, like you too Michael. I never realized it but I do, and I want to hug you, hold your hand, kiss you.” Jeremy trailed off, blushing furiously. 

“Is it really true?” Michael asked softly, and Jeremy looked up into his best friends’ eyes. They looked so hopeful, and for the first time Jeremy could actually see Michael in them, not whatever twisted version of Michael the SQUIP made him into.

“Yeah dude, and I know it’s a bit soon, but if you want to, maybe we could give a relationship a try?” Jeremy was pushing too hard, they both needed time, but Jeremy also needed Michael. He really wanted this. 

Michael smiled at him, sitting up and pulling Jeremy into his arms once again. And it felt like home, felt like Michal. Pulling slightly away, Michael kissed Jeremy’s cheek, making the boy blush like crazy. 

“I would love to make a relationship work with you Jeremy.”

_____________________

Things didn’t get better immediately. 

It took almost three more days before Michael was good enough to be released form the hospital, and even Michael's moms came down to fuss over him for a day or two. They left quickly though, the look of guilt on their faces enough for Jeremy to let them go without a fuss. 

Jeremy and his dad allowed Michael to come stay at their house for awhile, Jeremy didn't really trust Michael enough on his own. 

Michael still has his troubles, like sitting up at night until 3am because thats the only time the SQUIP let him sleep, refusing to eat more than one meal a day, tensing up for around five seconds every time Jeremy grabbed his hand or kissed his cheek. 

But they worked through it, Jeremy held Michael tight when they both woke up from nightmares, made sure Michaels meal was filled with both his favorite foods and nutrition, made sure to hold Michaels hand just a bit tighter and kissed him for longer than he needed to. 

It wasn’t perfect but they made it work. 

Jeremy helped Michael become Michael again, and Michael helped Jeremy become Jeremy. 

They were happy, living through all the bumps and cracks in the road, comforting each other and their newly found friends. 

Nothing was perfect, but they were happy. And that’s all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! I had a ton of fun writing this so I really hope you guy's enjoyed it. I might make another one or something in the future, mostly about both of their healing, because the SQUIP messed them both up a lot.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so there is some confusing parts in the story, because I changed the whole SQUIP thing up a bit. It is a super computer, so it's able to actually infect other people like a virus, but it just needs to be activated for it to actually work. When Jeremy turned to SQUIP off and went to talk to Michael, the SQUIP basically got afraid and infected Michael when Jeremy and him were talking. The only problem was that Michael needed to accept the SQUIP's help and drink the mountain dew. 
> 
> So yeah, that should clear some things up.


End file.
